The current crop of interior mags are all about Christmas.  Obviously.  I love Christmas but ugh!  A selection of wonderful quotes.  'Our Christmas countdown for the family begins on the first of December when the children get out felt-tip pens and paper and write letters to Father Christmas at the breakfast table.'  Mine begins with 'Lord, Christmas shopping and I can't think of an original gift to buy all these people'.  'To make sure your table looks beautiful on Christmas Day, do a trial run a week or two before to ensure you haven't forgotten anything!'.  They have got to be kidding.  Surely nobody with a fully functioning brain actually does anything so inane?  'We often have pheasant, which has been shot by my dad/husband/gamekeeper', whatever.  Why can't they, just occasionally, feature a family, where the woman of the house is thinking how on earth is she going to afford Christmas and how much the turkey might be in Lidl?  'The children leave a glass of muscat for Santa'.  What the fuck is wrong with sherry?!  And while I am in 'full moaning mood', why are these mags always going on about the family sitting around 'a scrubbed pine table'?  I want to scream!  'Two weeks before Christmas, I climb into the loft and get down the decorations while my husband bakes cakes with the children with choral music playing in the background'.  I'm not saying that things like this never happen in real homes, but please.  My memories of Christmas of old, are of my father battling with 4 trails of tangled fairy lights as well as trying to figure out which bulbs were defective, spectacles hanging off  his nose, screwdriver in hand, calling out to my mother for much needed assistance.  It was bloody brilliant!